Many coaches don't feel confident about asking for fees for coaching. For some, just deciding on a fee is difficult. Does any of this ring true for you?

• You leave the fee conversation to the last minute of the sample session.
  (See the article Ten Secrets to Successful Sample Sessions)
• When you do state your fees to a prospect, you feel hesitant and uncertain.
• It's difficult to answer objections to fees, so often you end up discounting your fees or compromising your time (scheduling sessions at inconvenient times, over-delivering, or reducing the number of sessions each month) to get a client to hire you.
• You've set your fees low so that it will be difficult to achieve your revenue goals or transition to full time coaching.
• You haven't thought about your fees in relationship to your revenue goals. (See the article Simple But Essential Business Plan.)
• You believe you have to pay your dues as a coach before you can make much money at coaching.
• You often feel drained after coaching. There's a feeling of resentment rising about how much energy you put into your business when the income isn't meeting your needs.
• You've noticed some of your clients aren't taking coaching seriously and don't seem to make much progress week to week. (See the articles Disempowering Clients - An Unintended Result and The Co-creative Relationship)

If you relate to any of these things, you're not alone. For most coaches in their first few years of business there is apainful discrepancy between the desire to make money and the value they assign to their services. That's partially because as a culture we have some deeply entrenched ideas about money. At the root of it there are often worthiness issues and scarcity beliefs.

Getting to the Roots of the Issue

What we learned from parents and authorities about money plays a significant role in how we show up around all money matters, including how we value our time and coaching services. Our ability to open to prosperity is in direct proportion to our ability to value ourselves and look at money objectively as a resource.

This exercise starts by looking back to see what messages you took about money, prosperity and scarcity from your parents or guardians. You'll also look at your current beliefs and habits to see how they are derived from those early messages. Lastly, you'll decide how you want to change your beliefs, your habits and the messages that you put out to the world.

Step One - Gathering the Snapshots

Remember the place where you spent the most years growing up. What did the neighborhood look like? Think about the room where your family spent time together. If it helps to take you back, pull out some photos of that time. Or, sketch a quick floor plan of the place where you lived and label the rooms.

During the part your life when you lived with your parents or a primary guardian, what did you learn about money, wealth and prosperity? Consider things said or done regarding money. Write down everything you can remember. Include memories about all your primary guardians.

Example: These are Joan's memories about her mother related to money.

1. My mother paid all the bills, kept the house books, managed the money.
2. She was thrifty, cut coupons and would drive extra miles to the stores that had the best deals.She made what she could - canning vegetables, sewing, cooking - and rarely spent money on conveniences.
3. Healthcare was a priority, and she'd find a way to pay for it even if it meant scrimping elsewhere for a while.
4. She was generous with us kids if she felt the money spent would invest in our futures and our long-term happiness. But she was strict about spending money on "doodads" - the things that had little long term value. Nothing was purchased without considering the return on the investment.
5. She encouraged us to find creative and meaningful ways to earn money, even when we were very young. So I did chores for money, ran little entrepreneurial ventures during summer - like a paper route and playschool for young kids.

Step Two - Naming the Messages

Read over the snapshots you wrote in Step One. For each, name the messages you took from the words and actions around money. List the messages even if you don't agree with them now. Notice what you learned from whom.

Example: These are the messages Joan picked up from the scenarios above:

1. Manage your money well and save money wherever you can.
2. Don't spend money on what you can get for free or less expensively.
3. Above all else, use money to take care of your body.
4. Invest money wisely for your future and your happiness. Make your money work for you.
5. Moneymaking can be creative and meaningful.

Step Three - Taking Current Snapshots

Look at each of the messages you received from your parents or guardians above. As an adult, how have you adopted the same or a different message? Whether or not you agree with them, what are the current messages that you give yourself, your spouse, kids, co-workers, clients or friends about money now?

Divide a piece of paper into two columns. On the left, list your current messages, as derived or changed from your parent's messages.

As you do this, you might notice that some of your current messages are reactions against what your parents did or said. Or, they might be messages that you have carried forward out of loyalty to the individual who taught them to you, whether conscious or unconscious.

Example: These are the current messages Joan conveys about money as derived or changed from what she learned from her parent's messages.

1. Know what and how you spend, owe little, save some.
2. Pay experts for their services and spend that time on doing what you do best. (CHANGED: possibly as a reaction against what was learned.)
3. Use money for caring well for yourself.
4. Invest in yourself.
5. I can make good money if I follow my bliss.

Step Four -- Weeding Out the Current Messages

Now that you have a picture of how you've derived your beliefs and actions around money, prosperity and scarcity, which do you want to consciously keep or change?

In the right column, note whether you'd like to keep or change the current messages you put out to yourself and others about money. If you'd like to change a message, also write in that right column your newly formed and conscious message.

Example:How Joan wants to consciously keep or change the messages she conveys about money.

Now it's time to anchor these newly intentioned messages into reality.

Step Five - Making Change

To make a change we need to create a practice. Look at each of the messages you want to change and your newly formed language. What can you do now on a regular basis to effect that change?

Example: Joan wants to manage money impeccably, owe only mortgage, and save aggressively.

To anchor this new message in reality, Joan intends to do the following:

• Set aside two hours on my calendar each month to look at revenue and expenses and budget for the future.
• Double my monthly savings.
• Hire a Virtual Assistant so I can dedicate more time to what I do best and increase my income.
• Put money from sales of my jewelry into a special savings account to go on a two week vacation to Hawaii this year.
• Ask myself this question for each purchase I make: Does this purchase bring me enough delight or return on the investment to merit the number of hours I'll need to work to pay for it?

Step Six - Enrolling Support

Any change is easier with support. Share with at least two people who advocate your growth (like you partner and your mentor coach) your discoveries through this exercise. Specifically tell them of your newly changed messages and the ways you intend to anchor them in reality. Ask the people you tell to hold you accountable for taking these actions.

It is possible to re-program our habitual thoughts and responses so that we shift from living in scarcity to living with prosperity. It all comes down to the messages we put out. Blessings as you effect this change in your life!

Rhonda Hess is Founder of Prosperous Coach™ and a business success coach for professional coaches. She is co-author of the Coach Training accelerator, a comprehensive coach training manual, and senior trainer for Coach Training Alliance. She also wrote Working Websites for Coaches, an ebook available in Resources for Coaches. For more information about Rhonda, see: Contributors. For more information about Prosperous Coach, see: About Us.

Copyright © 2007 Bubbling Well Inc. All rights reserved.

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